In the olden times, when the kings and queens ruled the land; there used to be something called - Nagar Tamasha, or a Town Parade. These used to be deliberately exorbitant, done mostly around Royal Weddings. The idea was to make the peasantry happy through entertainment. So low level magicians, acrobats and circus-like events were sanctioned by the Royalty. The town was lit up, cleaned; the poverty painted over. The usual grim, hunger-stricken, sweat-stained rags on the backs of the gentry, was refurbished through ‘Magnanimity Events’, where the princes & queens would roll up on the town square and distribute sweets & new clothes amongst the chanting of their name.
[Photo Credit - The Hindu]
All this wasn’t done out of love for the praja, it was done as a management exercise for the masses. You see, the uber-wealthy, are always very scared of the people on the streets. In the past, those were the royals. The French Revolution saw the end of Imperialism when Marie-Antoinette got the guillotine. The Bolshevik Revolution saw the end of the Tzars. Even Saddam Hussein and his sons faced the same end. History is fraught with such uprisings, caused every single time by the vulgarity of opulence of the ruling classes. Something, they always live with, and fear in their heart of hearts.
[Photo Credit - TheCollector]
A Nagar Tamasha was a way to avoid such coups, in fact, that is where you will find the roots to most festivals. Keep the peasantry distracted and entertained, so that they won’t start to wonder why is it that some people have so much, and most so little. It was also done for optics, so that when the real festivities start, they don’t come across as an eyesore to the people, but instead as a climax to an event they feel they participated in. Which they clearly didn’t, but the poor are so easily distracted with lights and a cheap laugh.
Which brings me to The Ambani Wedding, which I hear is in July. So what was all this last weekend? The pre-wedding, of course. Why, you don’t have pre-weddings in your family? You don’t call the whole of Film Industry and Rihanna to give you a private show? You don’t turn a local domestic airport into an International one in 10days? You don’t spend upwards of smaller country’s GDP on PRE-wedding? Get your bread up kings, because your situation is giving broke.
[Photo Credit - The National]
But Abhishake, you might say - Wouldn’t you spend this much if you were the 10th richest man in the world? To which I say, Thank you for your confidence in me. Even my mother doesn’t believe I can ever be that wealthy, and she really has high hopes from me, even still, which is concerning. And also yes, I will, maybe more, mostly because I would be nouveau riche, and it takes a couple of generations of being wealthy for subtlety and sophistication to set in. Like how suddenly out of nowhere, just a week before his pre-wedding, SEO ranks were filled end to end about how Anant Ambani, the prospective groom, is apparently an animal lover. Never heard it before, I promise you we will never hear of it again. Okay, maybe once or twice more, if the PR campaign was a success. And speaking of not hearing - Remember the time when a certain Aston Martin that nobody drove went on a rampage one night in Mumbai’s Peddar Road and killed 2 people on a certain day in December 2013? No? No one does, not even the media, especially the media. Google it once though, and see what Forbes, India Today and many others have to say. I myself, am way too small and insignificant to say anything, or point to anyone. So I am not.
[Photo Credit - IndiaTimes]
SEO stacking tactics aside, did you see how many mainstream news media channels covered this event? All of them? Yes, even international outlets got on to the wagon. And why not, everyone loves free social traction. Rihanna gets likes, post her video. Look, the three khans are dancing to natu-natu, that is a meta-tag goldmine. Oh look, the bride to be with coffee cup looking like a wow, let’s paste her face to world so that the incels who run the internet get to body shame the groom and lust after her. Look all celebs in a bus, meme bana iska, add that song from that movie for max relate at min effort bro. Colony walla aunty uncles need a break from the WhatsApp hate factory, they need something to gossip about. You know, something so innocuously bottom of the barrel that even a person in coma would be entertained.
[Photo Credit - IndiaTimes]
This is our Nagar Tamasha for this millennia. The meaning of royalty has changed, so has the distribution of power. The gentry has exploded in population, Humble PR is in trend, spearheaded by Sudha Murthy and her Husband - Her son’s Humble PR is in works from what I’ve heard. The property lines are different, so is the socio-economic politics of the land. What hasn’t changed is the poor. Still so easily distracted, so cost-effectively entertained. The masses of today are just as simple-minded as the peasants of the past. The only difference is, now the royalty doesn’t owe you anything in real, there are no sweets you get to eat, no new clothes for your back or shoes for your feet. All they need is content, injected directly into the veins of the poverty stricken. Worried about how you will make rent next month? - Look at this insanely wealthy elderly couple sing and dance awkwardly. Makes you feel better about yourself, doesn’t it? You can do better, if given a chance, of course. Stressed about not having a job? - Hey, go online, call all these so called celebrities names, because they are doing ‘mujra’ for money in someone’s wedding. Feel better, don’t you? Financial strain tearing your family apart? - You can all sit around day dreaming about what your life could had been if you had that money, who would you call, what different would you do.
That’s who you are - A captive disciplined and trained audience. You are the ones who stood outside a palace in the dark and found excitement in the occasional firework you got to see. Because your life is that vacant. Because you do not have generational wealth. Because you still believe in meritocracy. Because you know, once the Nagar Tamasha is over, it’s back to the fields for you. You are the Tamashbeen, and we all know that the circus moves on, while you, me, us; we stay behind, looking at the dust. Let’s stop.
*The views expressed in this article are personal. They do not reflect the opinions, beliefs, or positions of Vygr and Vygr Media Private Limited.
